I did it because

I didn’t say go away because I didn’t want to see your face

I did it because seeing you is still the thing that makes my day

I didn’t stop talking to you because it put me in a bad mood

I did it because I’m still stuck in our little honeymoon

I couldn’t face the truth that I wasn’t good for you

Because I was still in love with you

Every second that passes by I wonder why I said what I did to you

And I also wonder how you could hurt me the way that you do

How you could pretend everything was nothing or act like nothing was real?

I didn’t hurt you because I hate you

I did it because I was afraid to lose someone as wonderfully incredible as you

This fear became a reality as I watched you disappear

Disappear from a life that we made that I believed was equally treasured

I didn’t move on because I wanted to

I did it because I had to

Because the decision you made was depressing and rash

And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you for something as brutal as that

But I’m happy to see you’ve found what you need, even though that something wasn’t me

-Kayla Paul-Koch